A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells PIG. The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, B****.
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
If only men would listen.
Added by Maureen Pregon on June 29, 2010 at 11:30pm —
We may still be feeling the aftershocks of last week's Lunar eclipse as we head into the big Fourth of July weekend. Don't let any lingering tensions from last week spill into this week because the Moon opposing Mars on Thursday and squaring off with the Sun on Sunday may spark a few fireworks within your personal arena. Picky pushy types may get their nose out of joint when their intended targets take their own personal stand for independence. Break ups may not turn… Continue
Added by Lisa Barretta on June 29, 2010 at 12:00am —
This is supposed to be the sex page, but there are times when you're not feeling terribly sexy. There's a lot of pressure on us Advanced Babes (and I much prefer the term 'advanced' over some other less appealing adjectives) to look, act, feel as though we're always in the mood for love, when the truth is, sometimes we'd rather be gardening!
A friend showed me a book the other day of British aphorisms. Laced throughout the book were many British catch phrases and slogans insinuating… Continue
Added by Eve Marx on June 25, 2010 at 12:30am —
These days the only eggs I have are the ones in the refrigerator. At this time in my life that is the only place I need them. Although summoned to the occasional hot flash, I can always open up the refrigerator and stick my head in it. The down side is refrigerator surfing and I can never close the door without something finding its way into my mouth. The bright side is eying the eggs in the container and knowing if I drop one it is on my own accord and not subjected to a monthly… Continue
Added by Amy Casale on June 24, 2010 at 1:00am —
I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. Continue
The nurse started with certain basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asked. "135," I said. The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asked, "Your height?" "5 foot 4," I said. The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2"
She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high. "Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now…
Added by Maureen Pregon on June 23, 2010 at 11:00am —
NUTTIN NEW about NUTS BEING GOOD FOR YOU AND AT LAST CHECK... Nuts Help Lower Cholesterol and the Benefits Last. Continue
That's the word from researchers at Loma Linda University School of Public Health in California, who have concluded that eating nuts reduces the so-called "bad" LDL cholesterol and improves the blood lipids profile.
Also ...Studies from Harvard have consistently shown…
Added by STAYING ALIVE on June 22, 2010 at 11:30am —
What a week it is! First off, we start out celebrating the Summer Solstice on June 21St
which is the longest day of the year. The big event coming up this week is a Full Moon Lunar eclipse on June 26Th
, having the most effect on those who are born within the first 10 degrees of the signs Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. This eclipse is the trigger for a build up of tension… Continue
Added by Lisa Barretta on June 22, 2010 at 12:00am —
Am I the ONLY one who has still not tried Botox?
Twice in a week I got emails from babe pals inviting me to their "Botox Parties", forcing me to stop in the middle of my day and imagine gaggles of brave babes gathering with cocktails to get their foreheads stabbed with botulism.
I am a Botox Party Pooper. I swear I don't want to be. I think it would be really fun to wear my hair back in a tight pony tail completely off my… Continue
Added by SHHHHH - WE'RE GETTING WORK DONE on June 21, 2010 at 8:43am —
Maybe it's been awhile since you last went out on a date. Who can blame you for being a bit rusty? Here's some hints to make the event better and hopefully insure you'll have a good time!
1. Guys love legs, so wear a skirt (unless you're doing something outdoorsy, like hiking or horseback riding!).
2. Even though most first dates are in restaurants, don't wear jeans (unless it's a barbecue joint).
3. Do wear lipstick, but not red or anything super shiny.
4. Don't pile on… Continue
Added by Eve Marx on June 18, 2010 at 12:30am —
Sometimes you just need a quick no brainer appetizer to impress the unexpected drop in for a drink. Whether it’s an old friend, a neighbor or some straphanger… you should always have something that you could serve with the proverbial cocktail. I had just returned from my favorite little farm the other day and luckily I had purchased a bag of the most delicious sugar snap peas. As I was preparing dinner and fixing to make a salad with blue cheese dressing topped with bacon, I spotted… Continue
Added by Amy Casale on June 17, 2010 at 1:00am —
A group of 15 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jimmy Johnson, that cute boy in Social Studies, lives on that street and they might see him and they can ride their bikes there.
10 years later, the group of 25 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner.… Continue
Added by Maureen Pregon on June 15, 2010 at 11:30pm —
This week the planet Venus, ruler of both love and the finer things in life, moves into fiery Leo. Look for things to either heat up or become heated
concerning matters of the heart and also of the wallet. This is a good week to find the opportunities that you have been looking for in order to move forward. When the Moon slides into the sign of Virgo on the 17th, we all begin to be a little more health conscious and watch our diet.… Continue
Added by Lisa Barretta on June 15, 2010 at 12:00am —
When you pick up your favorite women's service magazine, you may have wondered about all those articles about improving your sex life. That's because publishers and editors are absolutely determined that every woman, no matter what her age or where she's "at" in her life, should have one. That's why every article touts what is supposed to be the best position, or tells you what time of day you should be having sex, or what new tricks you should be learning to better please your partner.… Continue
Added by Eve Marx on June 10, 2010 at 3:34pm —
Mary told Jack they couldn't afford beer anymore and he'd have to quit. Then he caught her spending $65 on make-up.
Jack asked how come he had to give up stuff and she didn't. Mary said she needed the make-up to look pretty for him. Jack told her that was what the beer was for.
He doesn't think she's coming back.
Added by Maureen Pregon on June 8, 2010 at 11:30pm —
The planet Mercury is the cosmic ruler this week influencing us to get communications rolling and sharpen our mental skills. When this planet is moving along in a forward instead of a retrograde
motion we all benefit from its quick, light energy - even the babes who have mental fog due to hormonal ups and downs. The Sun is in Gemini ( Mercury ruled), the New Moon this week is also in Gemini (Mercury ruled), the planet Mercury moved… Continue
Added by Lisa Barretta on June 8, 2010 at 12:00am —
There are dimpled cheeks that are adorable and dimpled 'cheeks' that are anything 'butt'! Chin up now, we're talkin bout the ones above the chin like these in the photo.
Don't you just wanna be this lady's friend because of her dimples? I do.
Natural dimples are formed when there is a defect in the cheek muscle.
The skin somehow is stuck down to the underlying connective tissue which creates a dimple in the skin with a change in facial expression, like… Continue
Added by SHHHHH - WE'RE GETTING WORK DONE on June 3, 2010 at 1:30pm —
Hey, it’s 5 o’ clock somewhere. And who made that rule? When it comes to cocktails… rules are made to be broken. Especially in the summer time, it’s too damn hot to follow any rules. Chill out and get a grip on a nice tall one. Serve some of these and perhaps that nice tall one will get a grip on you!
This summer delight will have you sipping with all ahhhhhhs!… Continue
Added by Amy Casale on June 3, 2010 at 1:00am —
Hopefully we all got back in shape for the summer months so June will not be busting out
all over. There is a lot happening this month up in the sky that surely will make us ask " What the frig is going on ?" Saturn is opposing both Jupiter and Uranus. Translation
: Be on the look out for limits even though you want to start something new and reinvent yourself. These limits actually help you slow… Continue
Added by Lisa Barretta on June 1, 2010 at 12:00am —