BABE VERSION OF A "HOLE-IN-ONE" AND YOU WONDER WHY WE NEED THE HUMOR

THIS IS THE TABLE THEY PUT ME ON FOR MY BREAST BIOPSY. NOT EXACTLY GIRLS GOLF BUT THEY DO GUARANTEE YOU A "HOLE-IN-ONE"!

This is a picture of the table you land on face down when your mammogram and subsequent ultrasound show a spot or a lump of concern. Bummer. This aging game ain't for sissy's. (Why do you think I started this site?)

I was not thrilled to be driving to the hospital this morning to meet the breast surgeon for a stereotactic breast biopsy. I had lots of girlfriend driver offers but didn't want to bother anybody when I heard I could drive myself. On the way at 7am, I put the convertible top down for the hell of it. Hey Life is short.

I knew there was a slight chance that the mammogram machine there would show everybody wrong and let me off the hook. NOPE. I stared at the white spot on the X-Ray. Bastard!

I landed on this table here with one boob through the hole so the female breast surgeon could slide under it like a mechanic under the hood of a car. She's done this a billion times.

She numbed the boob and the went in with a needle to extract 12 capellini strands of tissue. No I did not look.

The surgeon laughed when she warned the sound of inserting the titanium clip at the area of concern, would sound similar to a small fart in spanx.

Like I've ever heard that.

The titanium clip in the boob stays in forever if results come back normal, and acts as a locator if they don't. I was assured I'm clear for Airports and MRI's. I'm thinkin some airport scanner is gonna have a field day with my boob down the road.

The whole thing was completed in world record time and the sweet nurse strapped some ice to me and told me not to jump around for 48 hours. I hate canceling jumping. I also got a sticker for a parking lot discount.

I put the top back down on my convertible, and flashed the parking lot payment attendant my iced breast to prove my discount on the way out. His expression was priceless.

Results tomorrow.

For all you babes putting off your annual 'girlie' tests, better to just make the appointments and go deal with 'whatever' head on. Better always to know early if something's a little off before it gets a lot off.

Hormonally Yours,

Debbie Nigro

Tags: a, babe, biopsy, breast, debbie, female, nigro, stereotactic, still, stillababe.com, More…surgeon

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Comment by Donna trip on September 30, 2011 at 1:57am: So glad to hear your good results !

Comment by Debbie Nigro on September 28, 2011 at 6:26pm: Thanks Girls

Comment by Karen Scacchi on September 28, 2011 at 12:20pm: Great news !!

Comment by jane duncan-ginsberg on September 22, 2011 at 12:40am: Good News! March On!

Comment by joan wimberley on September 21, 2011 at 1:30pm: wow, i am so happy for you and you are so brave. i am proud of you.

Comment by Debbie Nigro on September 20, 2011 at 12:49pm: Just got the call from the breast surgeon. GOOD News NO CANCER! Still shaking from the adrenaline leaving my body. Onward!

Comment by Katherine Knapp on September 20, 2011 at 12:47pm: Yikes!!!!!! I gather your test result was good news......????

I totally agree with what you said about forgetting stuff and being on overload. My saying is that "my computer chips are all full and I need to be de-phragged"!!!!!!!!

I was so sorry to miss you in Greenwich! I was there last year but had an important social function I had to be at this year. Was it fun????????

Comment by Tina Erardi on September 19, 2011 at 6:54pm: Think positively....ALL WILL BE WELL!

Comment by Tina Erardi on September 19, 2011 at 6:52pm: Deb, I have titanium screws in my head and have yet to set off an airport alarm. But now that you mention it, the first time will probably be with YOU. I can see it now...launching into long winded explanations about brain surgery and boob biopsies as we are dragged off by security.

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