STILL A BABE

DROPPED AND CRACKED MY 3G IPHONE CAN I SURVIVE 'CRACKED UP' UNTIL THE NEW IPHONE 5 ?

I AM CURRENTLY TALKING, TEXTING AND EMAILING ON MY 3G IPHONE WITH A COMPLETELY CRACKED GLASS FACE. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?

My iPhone fell to the ground from my fanny pack/stomach deflector the other day while parking my bicycle outside a sushi shop. I said very bad words. 

 

My bicycle buddy Vi saved me from a complete meltdown by bequeathing me the clear film protector that was still on her brand new iPod straped to her bicep. I was thrilled I could swipe the 'slide to unlock bar' without getting shards of glass in my fingers and I can still talk through the mic on my ear cord. Onward.

I bought the 3G two years ago, love it and have never had a problem. I'd have run to buy a new 4G the next day if Apple's new iPhone 5 wasn't supposed to come out any nanosecond.

 

Not sure I can hold out. The film protector is losing traction.


I called AT&T instead of Ghostbusters to discuss the problem and they mentioned I'm up for a new contract and a new iPhone. Wow, time flies when you're texting and emailing every ten seconds for two years.

I asked when the iPhone 5 was supposed to come out?

No one at AT&T had a clue. They told me to check the online rumor mill.  So I did.

Even the tech reporters have no clue and it's driving them nuts.

 

Whether or not I will completely 'crack up' or can hold out for the iPhone 5 release is still unclear.

Feel free to comment with your advice.  What is clear is that I'm not the only one unclear.

 

Below is a VERY FUNNY take on the situation by Jason Gilbert Technology Reporter for the The Huffington Post.  

 

Hormonally Yours,  

Debbie Nigro


 

Jason Gilbert Technology Reporter for the The Huffington Post.

"Every iPhone 5 Release Rumor Ever"

 

Could the iPhone 5 be coming out in time for [COLUMBUS DAY/HALLOWEEN/THE RAPTURE]?

According to [NAME OF TECH BLOG/NAME OF NEWSPAPER/NAME OF CLAIRVOYANT WIZARD], the newest Apple iPhone will be coming out in [MONTH]. The publication heard these latest rumors from anonymous sources at [APPLE/AT&T/THE SOVEREIGN REPUBLIC OF SOUTH KOREA], who purportedly ["HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MATTER"/"HAVE SEEN CONFIDENTIAL INTERNAL DOCUMENTS"/"HAVE A MODEM AND A KEYBOARD"]. The iPhone 5--or iPhone 4s, as some believe it will be called--is expected to feature an 8 Megapixel rear-facing camera, a wider touchscreen and, perhaps, [4G CAPABILITY/A FASTER A5 PROCESSOR/JACUZZI JETS].

iPhone 5 rumors have been heating up recently, as many different sites have jumped in on the action. Earlier in the week, Apple blog [9TO5MAC/MACRUMORS/MAC MACKINGTON'S MAC NEWS SITE AND MAC BLOG] published blurry photos sent in by a tipster taken in [SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA/WUHAN, CHINA/PHOTOSHOP] that they claim show a prototype iPhone 5 in the wild; earlier in the week, [INSERT UNPRONOUNCABLE WEBSITE NAME], a daily newspaper written in [JAPANESE/VIETNAMESE/A LANGUAGE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT EXTINCT], shared a report showing that Apple had ordered [NUMBER BETWEEN 40 MILLION AND INFINITY] iPhone 5s for the upcoming quarter.

If these latest rumors prove true, they would debunk reports from other sites that have said that the iPhone 5 would [COME OUT IN SEPTEMBER/COME OUT IN OCTOBER/COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ON AN EPISODE OF THE DR. PHIL SHOW]. We have reason to trust this particular source, however, as they previously predicted correctly the [RELEASE DATE OF THE IPHONE 4/FEATURES OF THE IPAD 2/POWERBALL NUMBERS FOR FEBRUARY 23, 1997].

Apple did not respond to request for comment.

Time will only tell whether these rumors turn out to be [TRUE/FALSE/WILDLY AND IRRESPONSIBLY FABRICATED], but one thing is for sure: We are very, very close to knowing the definite date for the release of the iPhone 5.

For all the latest iPhone rumors, make sure you check back here often at your one-stop-shop for all things Apple, [NAME OF YOUR TECHNOLOGICALLY-LEANING BLOG SITE].

 

GET UPDATES FROM Jason Gilbert Technology reporter, The Huffington ...




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Tags: A, AT&T, Apple, Babe, Still, babes, boomer, cracked, debbie, funny, More…gilbert, glass, huffington, iPhone, iPhone5, jason, nigro, post, reporter, rumors, technology

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