MY MOTHER EILEEN - ANOTHER GREAT BABE IN HEAVEN

Wow, is all I can say. My Mother died on August 6th, and I am still in shock. The heartache is incredibly loud. I have not been able to write until now.

Eileen Nigro, my cute babe of a Mom... who ate right, exercised, was never sick and barely took an Advil, died within 7 months of complaining of what we first thought was back pain from a fall. Instead a gruesome blood cancer called multiple myeloma discovered at 'third stage', ripped her to shreds and took her away to heaven.

"Death Leaves a Heartache No One Can Heal, Love Leaves Memories No One Can Steal."

It was exactly a year ago August I took my mother to San Diego for a fun mother/daughter trip where I made her pose for this picture as we were power walking down by the San Diego waterfront. Eileen could bang out 5 miles without flinching at 75. It was a happy silly moment. Who knew it would be our last adventure. We slept in the same bed at a 'way too cool for us' hotel, had cocktails and sprawled in the sun on 'way too cool for us' double sun lounges at the hotel rooftop pool (both in two-pieces because who cared) . We saw the opening of The First Wives Club Musical at the Old Globe Theater, had cocktails at the famed Del Coronado Beach Hotel, laughed out loud eating ice cream stranded forever on some random bus bench waiting for a taxi, and dined curbside being serenaded by a guy in full body piercings. Fun memories.

Many of you know the agony of the loss of a mother. Many of you, like me, also know the agony of spending months in a hospital, bedside, watching and participating in the suffering leading up to such a great loss. It was pure insanity from many perspectives; medical, emotional, and financial and I have a lot to say about it all at another time. I will even eventually share the story of the 'sign' I whispered she should send me once she became my angel, to let me know she was still around. I got the 'sign' the day after she passed and so have many others.

The discovery of my Mom's cancer this past April and the hospital madness, coincided exactly with the launch of this humor website, so most of what I've written here up until now was done either in the wee hours of the morning after long hours at the hospital, or in her hospital room on a food tray while she slept. Why do I mention this? Because humor has a serious purpose.

Humor is an escape. Humor helps us find lightness in darkness. Humor gives us gentle reprieve from harsh reality. Humor helps us find the positive in the negative.

Funny, that the 'Humor' writing which I intended for all of You...ended up saving Me
by helping me cope throughout this ordeal.

My mother always told me, even when I was a little girl, the thing she thought I did best was write.

OK Ma...it's gonna be hard to laugh for awhile but I'll keep writing.

xo
Debbie

Tags: Eileen, My, Nigro, a, and, cope, died, heartache, heaven, humor, More…in, loss, mother, of, stillababe, to

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Comment by Susan Lemonier on September 19, 2010 at 6:58pm: I know your love for your mom was huge.... remember that you brought light, love and laughter to her everyday of your life... She is always with you.... Love you.

Comment by Lillian M on September 17, 2010 at 1:48pm: Your words and attitude are a tribute to your mom's life. I know first hand the passing of a mom is hard, especially one that helped define our own life. She will always be with you. Remember the happy times and celebrate your mom through your writing and laughter. She lives on through you.

Comment by Liz Manfredo on September 17, 2010 at 10:18am: Love you Deb. Keep writing and be sure to laugh and smile, mom is watching.

Comment by shelley Waln on September 17, 2010 at 9:37am: Rock on deddie do....you will feel your mama's love in the most magical ways : ) xo

Comment by Lori Brandes on August 25, 2010 at 7:54pm: I'm sure your mom is smiling proudly, down upon you. I am deeply touched by your comments. As you said, "Death Leaves a Heartache No One Can Heal, Love Leaves Memories No One Can Steal."
Those memories really are priceless!
Hugs,
Lori

Comment by Suzann on August 24, 2010 at 12:03pm: Debbie...your mom, my Aunt Eileen truly was and is an inspiration to us all......I literally am crying as I write this......your "writing" was beautiful......and I thank your mom for you and all that you bring to us girls......Chessie and I am always here for you and your baby girl, Alexis xoxoxox

Comment by Trish Rubin on August 19, 2010 at 11:22pm: Debbie...

I have only seen this from the side of losing my Dad. Very hard....I still have my mom, but you have had a blessing of an amazing relationship with your mom that a lot women that don't have with their moms...that is sustaining. I hope to meet you soon and smile with you. Yes.. laughter heals... and your mother may be giving you a mission to live out: connect the world of women, love, smile and be energized.Trish Rubin

Comment by Gloria Schaffer on August 17, 2010 at 11:26pm: You are right. Humor is what sustains us and helps us through the dark hours. My sincere sympathy to you and your family. You were blessed with a close and loving relationship. It means everything in the end.

Comment by Nicole on August 17, 2010 at 11:14pm: Debbie, God bless you and your family. Please know you have touched so many in so many ways. You are a great daughter and your mother, a beautiful lady.

Comment by joan wimberley on August 17, 2010 at 6:45pm: i m so sorry to hear that your mother passed. just know she will be around you to take care of you always ,there is no death, just a transtion. no more pain for her. remember you are a wonderful daughter.